Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What’s your favorite thing about being a mother? This is actually a really tough question. I feel like it shouldn’t be difficult to answer, and I’m slightly embarrassed that it is….so…I’m going to give you the most honest and real answer I can give you, and I really hope your readers understand. I don’t really love being a mother, per se. I’m not really cut out for the so-called (i.e. made-up) “mom things.”  BUT…I absolutely LOVE being Emory’s mother. She truly is just an absolute joy and is funny as all get out. So I would have to say my favorite thing about being Em’s mother is just getting to be goofy together when no one is watching, and then watching her stare at me in horror when I’m goofy in public, or in front of her friends. Or when she works overtime to prank me – we live for a good prank in our house. What’s your least favorite thing about being a …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What’s the best motherhood advice you’ve ever gotten? The best motherhood advice I’ve gotten is from my own mom who said, “You need to reduce your stress because your baby feels everything that you feel.” She said this to me after I had my son and while I was pregnant with my daughter. While I can’t always reduce my stress, I try to remain cognizant of how I’m feeling so that when I’m interacting with [my kids] and responding to them or their behavior, it is not from a place of my own stress, which may lead me to snap. I don’t always succeed, but I try.   How has motherhood shaped your priorities? I’ve had to reinvent my life. Before having children I wanted this big New York, news [producer] life. My husband hates the North so it was still very far-fetched, but after having my son, I realized that I didn’t want to go back to work in news at all, let alone …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Who are your writer-mama heroes?  My mom, first—she was a single mother and academic who worked 2-3 jobs at any time and raised 2 children while being very present with our lives. Then, feminist writer peers who I’ve gotten to know in a closer way as they create art, pursue activism and/or teach in competitive positions, and raise one or more children. Shoutout here to my mentors during my time at UCLA and Bennington College—Françoise Lionnet, Shu-mei Shih, Angie Cruz and Jill McCorkle. I learned so much by simply watching them live their lives on a daily basis. Shoutout to writer-friends Aline Ohanesian and Shilpa Agrawal who kept it real for me when I got pregnant and tried to figure how to raise a child in harmony with my own personality. Shoutout to peers with whom I’ve talked about motherhood, in bigger or smaller ways, and felt seen and heard: Jasminne Mendez, Chaya Bhuvaneswar, Anjali Enjeti, Lydia Keisling, Shenaz Patel, and fierce single mothers, …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Are there days when you feel like a mother who writes, and others when you feel like a writer who is a mother? This is such an interesting question because I think I work really hard to not make any one of my intersecting identities greater than another. I’m 100% a mother and 100% a writer. That said, society doesn’t always get that. There are certainly moments when one of my roles feels secondary to another and, if I’m honest, I carry so much guilt when I do allow that to happen. When I’m writing, I’m ever conscious of the fact that it’s time spent away from my child. And when I’m with my child, I’m ever aware of the call of my stories. I can’t shake it either way. But I suppose I find my sweet spot in the belief that I want my daughter seeing me pursuing this passion of mine. I want her to know that there is room in heart …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What surprised you about motherhood? This is the most obvious thing in the world, but even 11 years into motherhood, I’m still surprised that I’m someone’s mother. I’m still surprised that the child who walks around our apartment, asserting herself and opining about things and asking me about my past, is my child. I know that I grew and birthed her, brought her home and have raised her for over a decade, but I’m still surprised that it happened and that it’s still happening.   Who are your writer-mama heroes? I like Black women writers who are candid about the joys and challenges of trying to parent — especially to single-parent — while also publishing. So of course, there’s Toni Morrison, whose quotes about motherhood have been vital to affirming my need for a communal practice, where I’m able to rely on other women and to be a support to them. And I’ve also been fascinated by Alice Walker’s writing about motherhood, her relationship with …