Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What’s the best motherhood advice you’ve ever gotten? The funny thing is that any advice I’ve ever gotten about being a mother or about motherhood has gone through one ear and out the other for me. My children were one pound each when they were born. Sometime during their NICU stay, I stopped listening to anything anyone else had to say about parenting because it felt like no one had gone through anything like what I was going through. So, I realized that advice is relative, not necessarily useful, and mostly just platitudes.    How has motherhood shaped your priorities? I’ve always been independent and selfish. Motherhood has made me put someone, or rather others because I have twins, first and think of them more than I think of myself. My priorities are shaped around them and their needs. It’s honestly one of the hardest things I’ve had to accommodate because it’s not in my nature, but kids change you. You may not want …

  Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. How has writing influenced your parenting?  “Show don’t tell” is good writing advice that also works for parenting. Writing gave me ways to show persistence, how not to take rejection personally, and that there are nerdy ways to be adventurous. Who are your writer-mama heroes?  Aside from you, Deesha, some of my writer-mama heroes are Lucille Clifton, Toi Derricotte, Aracelis Girmay, Yona Harvey, Amanda Johnston, Robin Coste Lewis, Toni Morrison, Marilyn Nelson, Sharon Olds, Khadijah Queen, Adriana E. Ramírez, Patricia Smith, and Mariahadessa Ekere Tallie. What surprised you about motherhood?  Realizing that each of us has been the beneficiary of enough mothering, from someone, to survive. What’s your least favorite thing about being a mother?  It was the sleep deprivation. What are three words your kid would use to describe you?  My guesses were respectful-of-privacy, curious, and strict, but my daughter said fun, reliable/consistent, and thorough. I love that!  How has motherhood shaped your relationship with the world?  Moving up a branch in …

  Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Are there days when you feel like a mother who writes, and others when you feel like a writer who is a mother? No. I would have to say, I always feel like a mother who writes. For me, my writing has never taken first place or even shared first place. My life’s work, for the last 20+ years, has been in service to supporting artists who are artists first. Whether through communicated encouragement or financial support, my work has always centered on showing folks they can.  Funny how sometimes you don’t see it so clearly for yourself. But when I do, I like to imagine living in a beach house adjacent to the Atlantic, writing in balmy 87 degree weather exorcising this novel out of me. I am patient and believe that the time for me to write full-time is coming and it will be abundantly clear.  What three words describe you as a mother? Mindful, apologetic, and open. What fictional mother …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What surprised you about motherhood?  I’m not sure if anything surprised me but the life adjustment was huge. Knowing that my son was going to nap for two hours and having to decide if I was going to cook, clean, sleep, do some work, sit and stare off into the distance, etc. Looking back, I would have always chosen sleep! Who are your writer-mama heroes?  Writing comes from a very personal place for me.  My writer-mama hero would be my mother, Shirley Jackson. Getting to know her woman to woman over the years, when I asked her what she wanted to be, she told me she always wanted to be a good mother and to give her children the affection and emotional support she didn’t receive as a child. She broke that generational pattern and is my #1 example for mothering.   My mother doesn’t consider herself to be a formal writer, but she, to this day, writes handwritten notes and letters. When she has …

  Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Are there days when you feel like a mother who writes, and others when you feel like a writer who is a mother? Definitely, although I’d say even more common are days when I feel like an editor who writes—for me, it’s the day job, much more than my kids, that takes up much of the time I’d otherwise spend writing. It’s hard to complain, though, because I like editing so much. And I know that working with wonderful writers every day often inspires and feeds my other work. Who are your writer-mama heroes? So many, way too many to name, but a few just off the top of my head: Imani Perry, Lydia Kiesling, Crystal Hana Kim, Taylor Harris. What three words describe you as a writer? Ha, tired? I try to be honest. Complicated—by which I mostly mean comfortable with complexity and gray areas, and deeply suspicious of pat, easy answers. What surprised you about motherhood? lol EVERYTHING, I knew nothing …