Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What surprised you about motherhood?  I’m not sure if anything surprised me but the life adjustment was huge. Knowing that my son was going to nap for two hours and having to decide if I was going to cook, clean, sleep, do some work, sit and stare off into the distance, etc. Looking back, I would have always chosen sleep! Who are your writer-mama heroes?  Writing comes from a very personal place for me.  My writer-mama hero would be my mother, Shirley Jackson. Getting to know her woman to woman over the years, when I asked her what she wanted to be, she told me she always wanted to be a good mother and to give her children the affection and emotional support she didn’t receive as a child. She broke that generational pattern and is my #1 example for mothering.   My mother doesn’t consider herself to be a formal writer, but she, to this day, writes handwritten notes and letters. When she has …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Are there days when you feel like a mother who writes, and others when you feel like a writer who is a mother? Definitely, although I’d say even more common are days when I feel like an editor who writes—for me, it’s the day job, much more than my kids, that takes up much of the time I’d otherwise spend writing. It’s hard to complain, though, because I like editing so much. And I know that working with wonderful writers every day often inspires and feeds my other work. Who are your writer-mama heroes? So many, way too many to name, but a few just off the top of my head: Imani Perry, Lydia Kiesling, Crystal Hana Kim, Taylor Harris. What three words describe you as a writer? Ha, tired? I try to be honest. Complicated—by which I mostly mean comfortable with complexity and gray areas, and deeply suspicious of pat, easy answers. What surprised you about motherhood? lol EVERYTHING, I knew nothing going …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. Are there days when you feel like a mother who writes, and others when you feel like a writer who is a mother?  Essentially, I am the mother of two only children. They are 16 years apart, and even though they have the same mother, I was in different places in my life with each one. Regardless, their mother was a writer since way before they were born. Children are likely the reason I spent so many years writing poetry. You can always pop the beginnings of a poem out. Then you just keep coming back to it. Nurse it. Rock it. Cajole it to come correct. Until it’s finally ready to get up off your lap and walk around in the world.  How has writing influenced your parenting? I can’t say that it has. I’ve always viewed them as separate. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was eight years old. I’ve always viewed writing as my work. Like a salesperson in …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. What three words describe you as a writer? Provocative, sensual, nerdy. What fictional mother do you most admire?   This is a hard one. I don’t really think about fictional mothers that often, yet alone choose one to admire. The act of mothering is so real and present that to even drift into contemplating the idolization of a fictional mother takes me too far away from what is in front of me. But, if I had to choose, I would have to say Regina King’s depiction of Sharon Rivers in If Beale Street Could Talk. Her love and courage were so tangible, and she was textured in her humanity and vulnerability.  What’s the secret to surviving motherhood? My secret has always been to parent out loud. I am very transparent with my son about my parenting maneuvers, letting him know if I don’t really know what I’m doing. This gives him a voice to tell me how things are landing. What three words would …

Mama’s Writing is Raising Mother’s monthly interview series, curated by Deesha Philyaw. How has parenting influenced your writing? Parenting has influenced my writing in a sort of a roundabout way. Although my social media followers often told me I should write for a living after reading my posts that found levity in the ups and downs of parenting, I didn’t start writing professionally until I actually had to take some time away from my children — and I turned to writing as a coping mechanism to deal with the grief. I rarely directly write about my children; their father is a very private person and prefers not to have their stories shared widely. However, I have mentioned them in a few pieces, and I did write an essay for Catapult about dealing with postpartum depression and trauma around my son’s very premature delivery. I have been writing more “mommy-related” pieces, but as a reporter and not an essayist. I wrote an article about Oregon’s decision in November to decriminalize narcotics, and the impact that will …